I know what you’re thinking.

“Tying Lie to Me with StumbleUpon traffic? Really?”

Well, yes, really.

Lie to Me can teach you everything you need to know about maximizing the payoff from your StumbleUpon traffic because just like in deception detection, it all comes down to microexpressions.

You Have .002 Seconds Of My Attention

In Lie To Me, Cal Lightman (played by the bad ass Tim Roth) is a deception expert. He reads your face and spots your lies in what are called “Microexpressions.”

Microexpressions are the flashes of emotion that register on your face for less that a second and in that instant you can spot Anger, Fear, Disgust, Surprise, Happiness, Contempt and Sadness.

They are automatic, uncontrollable and they never lie and, yes, your website does the same thing.

When StumbleUpon visitors hit your site, they are there for a fraction of a second in most cases.

If you’ve ever used StumbleUpon, you know exactly what I’m talking about. In milliseconds you, the StumbleUpon user, are deciding whether or not the site you’re on is right for you.

Stumble visitors are getting a flash of microexpression. Not of Happy, Sad or Angry but of Helpful, Funny or Crappy.

And here’s the secret: those momentary decisions are almost always right.

StumbleUpon Users Don’t See Baselines

Normal visitors to your blog know what Dr. Lightman calls your “baseline.” This means that they know the normal state of your blog.

If your baseline is quality content that gives tons of value, repeat readers know that and they’re very forgiving of slip ups or the odd one-off post.

StumbleUpon vistitors don’t get that.

They judge your site only on the microexpression. That millisecond of time it takes for your page to load.

If the content that’s been Stumbled isn’t the best possible quality, isn’t optimized for them, isn’t exactly what they’re looking for, they know it instantly and they are gone in a flash.

If you want to make the most out of your StumbleUpon visitors and lower your bounce rate, you need to grab them in that microexpression phase because they’ll never see your baseline.

How To Optimize Your Stumbles

Lightman always says that he knows when someone is lying, but he can never tell why they lie.

Fortunately for us, we can get into the head of StumbleUpon users and know exactly why they bounced away from your latest post, instead of sticking around and giving it a Thumbs Up.

Think for a second about those times when you’ve hit the Stumble button. What were you looking for?

Something funny?

Something entertaining?

Something incredible?

Something that was worthy of sharing with your friends, right?

You weren’t interested in deep-thinking or introspection. You were after a distraction.

So is every other Stumbleupon user.

1. Tailor Your Content

Your average post isn’t going to do well on StumbleUpon. They’re different animals.

When StumbleUpon traffic is what you’re after, your need to specifically gear your posts for going viral on StumbleUpon. This shouldn’t be your average baseline post.

You’re after a special goal, so you need a special type of post.

2. Keep It Pithy

Appeal to a StumbleUpon user’s need for distraction and keep your targeted post light.

Use a headline that’s funny, pithy and attention grabbing and avoid giant walls of text.

Headlines like 172 Resources For Making Money Online and Top 10 Video Fails are bound to get a lot of Stumbles if you do them well. The main reason being that those types of posts are easy to digest and don’t require a massive commitment of attention.

3. Make Your Page Sticky

Since users are bouncing off pretty quickly, you’ll want to make sure that you’re giving them an incentive to stick around, read more posts and subscribe.

This is a great opportunity to put related post headlines or a collection of “Best Of” articles into action.

Put links to your best work above the fold to maximize the chances of keeping them on your site. For example, check out the “New here?” section in my sidebar.

4. For Subscriptions, Use A Pop-Over

Pop-overs are annoying, yes, but they work particularly well for StumbleUpon users because they force them to stop for a second instead of immediately bouncing the next site.

If you’re trying to increase your newsletter subscriptions, using a pop-over is essential with StumbleUpon traffic.

They work particularly well when you gear your pop-over toward giving away a free ebook or report as a special offer for Stumble visitors only.

5. Say Hi

Once you know you have a popular Stumble destination, say hi to Stumble visitors and single them out.

At the top of your post say something like “Welcome StumbleUpon users! If this is your first time here why not subscribe to my RSS feed for more great posts. Click here to subscribe.”

It shows that you’re paying attention and you’re interested in your visitors, which is always nice and you could also ask the for a Thumbs Up if they liked the post, which means more traffic for you.

The Moral of The Story

The moral of the story is simple: what Cal Lightman does for faces, StumbleUpon does for websites. But unlike lying, you have a chance to put your blog’s best foot forward when it comes to those momentary flashes of truth.

If you want to learn more about these types of psychological blogging hijinx and how you can use them to optimize your blog’s payout, you’ll want to subscribe to the RSS feed so you can receive all the free updates as they happen.

Oh, and watch Lie to Me if you don’t already.

How’s that for a call to action? Subscribe to my RSS feed and watch more television!